Friends Who Find Other Friends Annoying
by MysticalPikachu
Summary: A continuation of "When Co-Stars Collide." Come & read with an open mind ... And keep in mind the censor, as well as the AN at the beginning of the fic. ^_^ Oh! And the characters are purposely OOC. You have been warned, LOL. R/R please!


Disclaimer: We do not own the rights to any of the characters in this fic. Enjoy. 

AN: ATTENTION READERS! You are not to take any of this seriously. We repeat: DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY! It's all done in fun ... You have been warned!   


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Friends Who Find Other Friends Annoying 

A room is full with people, and as everyone starts to take their seat, we see three familiar faces. 

Misty: (Whispering) Brock, what are we doing here again? 

Ash: Yeah Brock! Are we here to see those crazy people again? 

Brock: Quiet...you'll see in a moment. 

A familiar tune begins to play, and a man comes down some stairs between the seats. 

Jerry: Hi and welcome to our show. Today our guests are here to tell their friends what exactly is on their minds. 

Audience: Ooooh! 

Jerry: Okay, now our guest here, *looks at cards* is named, Brock and he has something to tell his friends, *looks at card again* Ash and Misty. 

Misty: Brock! What are you doing?? 

Brock: I have something to tell you two…_that's_ what! It's something I should have done a _long_ time ago! 

Brock drags Ash and Misty up on the stage, and throws the both of them, in a rough fashion into the chair. (Hey, this is Springer after all) ^_^ 

Misty: YOU JERK THAT HURT!!! 

Ash: YEAH...WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA!!! (Notices the camera/starts waving) Hi mom! I'm on TV! 

Misty: ASH! 

Ash: Huh...oh yeah. (Getting mad at Brock again) What's going on, Brock! 

Jerry (Into the microphone): Boy, this kid ain't too bright. (Out loud) Before we get into that, why don't you tell us about yourselves? 

Brock: I'm Brock, and I have a problem with them. (Points to Ash and Misty) 

Misty (Growing fangs): He said to tell about ourselves, not why we're here!! 

Ash: Don't you mean why _he's_ here? 

Misty: NO ONE ASKED YOU, ASH! 

Ash (Cowers down in fear): Sorry! 

Misty: Like blind boy was saying… 

Brock: I'm not blind! I can see perfectly well! 

Misty: Whatever ... He's Brock, this is Ash, and I'm the beautiful and talented Misty! 

Ash (Laughs): Beautiful? Even Brock can see that's not true! 

Misty (Pulls out mallet): Then can he see me do this? (hits Ash on the head repeatedly) 

Brock: I wouldn't need to see to tell that hurt! 

Misty: Will you get on with this Brock!! Why are we here? 

Brock: Well, I'm sick of you and Ash!! I can never get a girlfriend because of you two!

Ash gets up recovering from Misty's hit. 

Ash/Misty: Huh? -_- 

Misty: We what? 

Ash: How do WE make girls reject you? 

Brock: THEY WOULDN'T IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU TWO ANNOYING BRATS GETTING IN THE WAY!!! 

Misty: Don't you go blaming us for you having no eyes or charm or BRAINS on how to get a girl. 

Jerry: I can see about the no eyes part, but what about the other stuff? 

Brock: Not you too, Jerry! Don't start with the eye jokes! 

Jerry (Into microphone): Hey...if the shoe fits... (out loud) Didn't you bring someone here today, Brock? 

Brock: Yes, I did. 

Jerry: Let's bring them out. Welcome Alexia. 

A girl walks out on stage and sits down, and Brock puts an arm around her shoulders. 

Brock: See? 

Misty: That's not a girl! That's just a guy wearing a dress! 

Ash: It is? How can you tell Misty? 

Alexia (In a gruff voice): Who are you calling a guy? 

Ash (sweatdrops): Um, are you sure your name isn't Alex? 

Alexia: (Gruff voice) Well people call me Alex at times...it's (voice cracks) a nickname. 

Jerry: So (coughs) Alexia, how long have you known Brock? 

Alexia: I just met him here yesterday. He's quite a man! 

Brock: See? You heard it here! I'm quite a man ... No, THE man! 

Ash: Um...how did you two meet? I mean, Brock was with us all day yesterday. 

Alexia: Well...it was...um...(voice cracks again, like a boy going through puberty) I met him last night when he saved me from some...robbers! He used his Rock Pokemon to save me! 

Brock: Yeah, the two of you were off somewhere doing who knows what! 

Brock winks and Ash and Misty blush. 

Ash: We took Pikachu to the Pokemon Center! 

Jerry: Um, there is no Pokemon Center in Chicago. 

Audience: Oooh! 

Misty: (Muttering) Ash...you'll blow our cover! (Trying to get the attention off her and Ash) Well, if he's such a great guy, Alexia, give him a kiss to prove it! 

Jerry: No wait a minute, this is interesting ...What were you and Ash doing, Misty? 

Audience: Jerry! Jerry! 

Misty (blushing): Well ... You see ... We were eating and then we saw this carnival and went. That's it! 

Ash: Don't forget about the Tunnel of ... 

Misty (interrupting): QUIET ASH! 

Ash: Why, we just went there to... 

Misty: ASH SHUT UP!! WE'RE HERE 'CAUSE OF BROCK, NOT TO DISCUSS OUR SECRET LOVE LIFE!!!!! 

Audience: Ooooh!!!! 

Misty: (Holding her head) Oops. 

Ash: That was a secret? 

Brock (Snickers): Not any more! 

Alexia: (Regular voice) Wait to go Ash!! I've always thought Misty was hot...man, you're lucky!!! 

Brock: Todd!!! Uh ... I mean, Alexia!!! 

Ash: That voice sounds familiar.... 

Misty: (Giving Alexia a strange look) You find me "hot?" 

Everyone looks over at Alexia who is having a hard time sitting in the skimpy, short, short dress Brock picked out for her. 

Alexia: I mean, I have a brother who would think so. (Continuing) Um...he would probably take Misty right here and right now if he could, I mean, he's always wanted to... 

Brock: ALEXIA!!!! SHUT THE HELL UP!!! 

Alexia (Regular voice): I'm not getting paid enough for this to have you yelling at me, Brocko! I want your pay, too! I mean, look at Misty. She's hot! I can't help it! 

Jerry: Only on the Jerry Springer show, folks! 

Ash: I'm confused... 

Brock: Alexia...you're blowing it for me!!! 

Alexia: Screw this, give me my damn money now!!! I can't sit here in THESE clothes and look at Misty at the same time without my cover being blown! 

Misty stands up and gets in front of Alexia, and stares at her for a while. 

Misty: Todd? 

Todd holds his legs together TIGHT due to Misty approaching him. 

Todd: (Squeaks) Hi Misty...fancy meeting YOU here. 

Ash: What the f---!!!!!! 

Audience: Jerry, Jerry, Jerry! 

Jerry: Do you mind explaining this one, Brock? 

Brock: (Innocent tone) OMG...I...I had no idea that you were a guy!! Let alone a guy that would want to get with the great Brock!! (Nervously) This is some sort of joke, right? 

Todd: Cut the crap, Brock, we had a deal! 

Audience: Jerry, Jerry, Jerry! 

Jerry: Um...Todd...you're a photographer I've heard and you are doing this because.... 

Todd: Desperate...I needed the money and Brock said he needed some type of a girl for today's show...so I said I would do it...well actually the damn bastard threatened me to! 

Brock: (Wipes his brow nervously) Wh-wh-whatever do you mean...I-I had no IDEA that you were a guy. How dare you say such things about me...The Great Brock. 

Todd: (Getting mad) Bleep that sh*t, you dumb-ass!! YOU'RE the one who broke my damn camera in the first place!!!! Which is why I had to come here to get it replaced since it would cost me an arm and a leg to replace it!!!! 

Brock looks over at Ash and Misty, who are making out, and turns red in the face. 

Brock: Hey! We're here because of my problems, not because we want to see you make out! 

Ash: Huh . . . we're not making out. When we make out we're usually wearing less clothes! (Misty clobbers him) 

Misty (Nervously): So, you're finally admitting you have a problem? 

Brock: MY PROBLEM IS YOU TWO SEX CRAZED JERKS!!! 

Jerry: The producers say we have someone on the line ... That's a first! Ok speaker, you're on the air! 

?????: Ash Ketchum, what do you think you're doing? 

Ash: M...Mom? 

Mrs. Ketchum: And Misty, you should be ashamed of yourself, acting like a hussie on TV! 

Misty: HUSSIE?! 

Brock is snickering. 

M. Ketchum: Kids your age shouldn't be allowed to do what you two are doing!! 

Brock: You tell 'em, Mrs. K! 

Todd: Why the hell not...me and Misty did stuff like that all the time before I left...for...the...(Misty gives him a look)...I blew it didn't I? 

Ash: MISTY!!!! 

Audience: Jerry, Jerry, Jerry! 

Ash: You bastard . . . how dare you!!!! (Ash gets up and charges at Todd/starts beating on him) You dumbass!!! How dare you bleep my girl!! I knew I couldn't trust you!! 

Todd: (Fighting back) Well your sorry ass wasn't giving her the attention she needed! 

Steve then went up on stage and broke up the fight. 

M.Ketchum (Yelling over the vid-phone): Now you kids stop it! I can see you! 

Todd and Ash sit down, and stop fighting. 

M.Ketchum: That's better. Now as I was saying, kids like you shouldn't do stuff like that. Why, that's how I had you, Ash. Professor Oak and I had a little too much to drink, and ...um, nevermind. Mimie is saying it's time for me to go hang out the laundry. Gotta go, sweetie! I love you, and change your you-know-whats every day! (Line goes dead) 

Ash: .... 

Brock: Ew, Ash! Was your mom saying what I THINK she was saying!? 

Ash: Um...(changing the subject) Todd how dare you do what you did with Misty!!! 

Todd: Hey...you just weren't cutting it and she needed a REAL man! (Ash picks up a chair and throws it at him. A laugh is then heard.) 

Voice: A REAL man...you must be mistaken. I'm the only REAL man Misty's been with. 

Misty: (Head sunk down) Oh no! 

Jerry: Who said that? 

Ash and Todd looked up to see who it was. 

Ash: Richie? MISTY...I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!! 

Misty: Well...it was your own fault!!! After you lost I WANTED to cheer you up but all your sorry ass did was mope and you yelled at me and made me feel bad and I needed some comforting and... 

Ash: (Snapping at Misty) I was in a bad mood! 

Richie: Give it up Ash...you lost to me in the League and you lost Misty too. 

Misty: Who the hell says I want you? 

Audience: Oooh!! 

Richie: Hey, you told me it was over between you and that loser. 

Ash: LOSER?? YOU BASTARD!! (Ash charges after Richie) 

Richie: F- YOU!!! 

Misty: Ash it also wasn't my fault!! I thought that it WAS you...but Richie looks so much like you! I mean, he even had your outfit and his HAIR was even black...he also got me drunk off of Sake!!! 

Ash: NO EXCUSES! 

The fight gets broken up as Steve and other members of security pull Ash and Richie apart. 

Brock: (Talking to a pokeball) Don't worry my love...we'll be alone soon. 

All of a sudden another boy walks in. 

Boy: You guys ALL suck!!! You know Misty likes me best! 

Jerry: Oh hell, what now?? 

Brock: (Still talking to pokeball, and oblivious to what's going on) Oh Susie...I can't wait to be alone with you... 

The boy bowed to the audience. 

Jerry: Who the hell are you? 

Boy: I'm... 

Ash: GARY!!!! YOU'VE BEEN WITH MISTY TOO!!!!! 

Gary: How else would I know of your every move? 

Misty (Muttering): My good name has been ruined. 

Brock: Good name ... Ha! Don't make me laugh! 

Misty (Bawling up fist): You be quiet, Brock ... just go back to whatever you were doing! 

Brock (Shrugs and goes back to his pokeball): Oh Susie, my love, I can't take being alone anymore...I must share my secret with the world! 

Jerry: Ash, at this point, you must be overwhelmed...what's going through your mind? 

Ash: (Eyes are red) KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL, RICHIE, TODD, GARY, KILL, KILL. 

Brock: And don't forget me, Ash! 

Misty (Pulls out mallet): YOU WISH! 

Brock: Aww...see its all their fault I can't get a girl!!! How did this turn from being about me, to being about them? Those two are nothing but trouble! 

??: Did someone say trouble? 

??: If there's trouble, you should make it double! 

Ash: What now? Are you messing around with _him_ too? 

James falls over anime style, and Jesse sprouts fangs and gets angry. 

Jessie: How DARE you would think that James would want that scrawny little whore you're with? 

Misty: Scrawny!!!! 

Ash: Yeah, REAL scrawny and she's got the whore part right too! 

Misty: You didn't tell me that last night! You said I was perfect! 

Ash: I lied and I was desperate since Melody couldn't show up with Giselle and Duplica! 

Misty: Yeah right, you never lied before! 

Ash: Okay...I did lie just now. You are perfect...a perfect BITCH!!! 

Jerry (Pointing to Jesse/James): WHO THE HELL ARE THOSE TWO IDIOTS, AND WHY CAN'T I EVER HAVE A NORMAL SHOW? 

Steve: Jerry, this is the Springer show! 

Jerry: Yeah, you've got a point!

Brock: THAT DOES IT!!! I'M TIRED OF THIS CRAP!!! IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THEM!!! NEVER ABOUT ME UNLESS IT'S SOME SORT OF BAD JOKE! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! 

Everyone grows quiet, and then the audience goes nuts. 

Audience: Go Brock! Go Brock! Go Brock!

Jerry (Throws cards up into the air): What the hell...it's your show! 

Brock: Great. Then the first order of business is ... I want that thong-wearing ho here now! What was her name again? 

Ash: Daphne? (Misty glares at him) 

Jerry: NO NOT THE SCOOBY DOO SLUT! 

Brock: That's the one! 

Jerry looks up towards the ceiling and begins mumbling. 

Audience member (Country hick accent): Um...Jerry!!! 

Jerry: Yes what is it so I can hurry up and end this nonsense. 

AM: Well...I was just wondering...how did that skanky redheaded girl have time to do all the guys on the stage? 

Jesse (Nearly breathing fire): Are you talking about me??? 

AM (Cowers back): N...no! Her! (points to Misty) 

James: WHAT!!! I DON'T WANT THAT SKANK....I LIKE MY WOMEN WITH A FIGURE!!! 

Ash: Oh...girls like you, beach beauty! 

James: WHAT DID YOU SAY!!! 

Ash: You heard me! 

James: How DARE you, you little... 

Misty: ...ASH...why did you have to go there! 

Ash: What's it to you bitch! 

Misty: F-ck you! 

Ash: Oh you already have...lots of times! 

Brock: SEE IT'S BACK TO THEM AGAIN!!! MY LIFE SUCKS...ALL I HAVE IS SUSIE!!! 

Jerry: No more questions...thank god...it's time for my final... 

AM: (Country hick accent) But Jerry...you never answered my question!!! 

Jerry (frustrated): Will you answer his damn question!!! 

Misty: Well, to be honest ... I've NEVER been with Gary, OR James, OR Brock...only Richie and Todd. Todd was taking some pictures of me while Brock and Ash were gone and I was posing and then one thing led to another and me and Ash weren't together yet ... Then Richie was a rebound...he meant nothing to me. Besides, he sucks AND the stupid bastard got me drunk!!!! 

Gary: What do you mean we never did anything...remember when we...um...back at…um...ALL GIRLS LOVE GARY OAK!!! 

Misty: Well, THIS girl doesn't! 

Gary's slut squad: Gary, Gary he's the best! Gary, Gary does it best! 

Brock (Mumbling): I guess he does ... I mean, he has all these girls! Well, I guess that just runs in the Oak genes ... I mean, Ash is an Oak, Gary is an Oak ... 

Ash: Hey, is that true Misty...Richie REALLY got you drunk? 

Misty: Yes Ash, it is. And he made so I thought I was with you. 

Ash: Richie you dumb bleep How DARE you do such a thing to Misty!!!! 

Richie: Hey, she's lying man!!!! 

Misty: Lying my ass!!! 

Misty AND Ash starts to beat the crap out of Richie while Brock started talking again. 

Brock: Oh Susie...we'll be alone backstage REAL soon. 

James: (Whispering to Jesse) Um...is it normal to talk to a Pokeball like that? 

Jerry: WTF!!! 

Brock: You don't want the world to know yet...okay, my lover. 

Steve and the rest of the crew broke up the fight. 

Richie: You know she wants me Ketchum!!! 

Ash: In your dreams you bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Jerry: That's it! I'm sick of this! Final Thought! 

Everyone sits down at the tone of Jerry's voice. 

Jerry: Today, I think we learned a very valuable. Kids shouldn't have sex. Look at him (points to Ash). His mother screwed up, and now he's one messed up little asshole. 

Ash: Hey! 

Jerry: Shut the hell up! Don't interrupt my speech! 

Jesse/James: He stole our line! 

Jerry: IT'S MY DAMN SHOW, I CAN STEAL WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT!!! 

Jesse and James backed down. 

Jerry: It goes to show that things you do in your youth does affect you in the future. Take him for example. (Points to Brock) His mother made a mistake even bringing him into this world. The poor bastard can't even see and he talks sexually to pokeballs with Pokemon in them that we have NO idea what kind it could even be! 

Brock: HEY! 

Jerry: (Looks into camera pleadingly) If any of you ever listen to me, listen to this. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU DO! Until next time, take care of yourselves ... And each other.

As Jerry shakes hands with the guests, the camera pans to a section of the audience, where three recognizable figures are sitting.

??: Stop hoggin' up all da popcorn, Pikachu!

Pikachu: (translated for your benefit ^_^) I'm hungry, Meowth, and Togepi wants some.

Togepi: You tell him, Uncle Pikachu! (looks at stage) Why is Mommy fighting with Daddy, Uncle Pikachu?

Pikachu: Because your mommy played musical chairs with your daddy's friends and rivals.

Togepi: But musical chairs is fun!

Meowth: (under breath) Not da kind she was playin' kid!

Togepi: What do you mean, Uncle Meowth.

Pikachu: Nevermind, Togepi. You'll understand one day.

Togepi: Well, I understand that my Mommy's da ho!

Meowth: Dat's right, kid. Humans are strange creatures.

Pikachu: And they say us Pokemon are weird. We don't go on national television and embarrass ourselves in front of millions and millions of people . . . Pass the drinks.

Meowth: Well...what do we do tomorrow since all of them'll be in intensive care from too much musical chairs and beating each other up?

Togepi: I wanna play, too! I play games with Uncle Brock all the time!

Meowth and Pikachu give each other a strange look, and as the scene fades, we see everyone onstage jump out of their seats. Ash, Gary, Todd, and Richie are all fighting, while James is trying to keep Jesse and Misty from tearing each other apart and Brock is still talking to a Pokeball with a Pokemon in it named Susie talking about how he can't wait to be alone with it. And Jerry . . . Poor Jerry. :-( 

Jerry: (Muttering) Maybe ONE day I'll have a show filled with NORMAL guests instead of a bunch of horny ass bastards. (Shouting) SOMEBODY....get me another f***ing latte...but put LOT'S of liquor in it this time! -_- 

The End ^_^ 


End file.
